I first felt her move at 16 weeks while laying in bed that morning. The kicks/rolls/punches were few and far between though until about 18 or 19 weeks. I actually went days without feeling her move, but at that point, I started feeling her almost every day. At 20 weeks, I started feeling her every day. Now, I feel her several times a day, every day. I've yet to find the perfect way of describing what I feel, physically. But, emotionally, I feel a connection to baby Abigail like no other. She reminds me that she's there, and that just because of that little fact, all the negative thoughts and feelings of the day go out the window and a smile comes across my face. I thank God for this little miracle he's blessed us with. Because, when it comes down to it, she's what matters. Not the rush-rush that is my job. Not the driver in front of me on the road that is going 20 mph under the speed limit. Not the bad dream that I just had. She assures me that she's okay, and that makes everything else okay.
I find myself asking her (sometimes out loud), "What are you doing in there, Abigail?" I would love to be able to see in there all the time. Pregnant women should have a see-through belly for this purpose.
Last night, she was really active. And I felt a huge kick while laying on my left side. Then another, and another. Probably about 5 times in a row but they got weaker (or more distant) each time. I kept thinking, "I wish her Daddy was here to feel this". Later in the night, he did get that chance.
This morning, I felt some light movement, then what felt like a complete body roll. I wanted more, and actually (lightly) pushed down on her to see if she'd kick back ... and she did :)
Since I can't find the words to describe what I feel, here's some descriptions that I've read:
- popcorn popping
- goldfish swimming around
- butterflies fluttering
- a muscle twitch
- rippling sensation
- bubbles bursting
- bumping or nudging
- someone hitting my stomach from the inside
- like being turned upside down on an amusement park ride
The first time I felt Pax (aka Gilgamesh!) it was like a ripple, then a fishy flip, or at least what I'd imagine that to feel like if I was holding a fish in my hand while my hand was in water (if that makes sense)... really though I think even a strong gas bubble (not the painful kind) would be an okay summary too.
ReplyDeleteYou write so beautiful about feeling her. I'm torn between loving it and freaking at my loss of control over the growing soon-to-be-massively-giant belly and the weird tiny-somewhat-like-an-alien human kicking at my internals.